Week11
This week has been a reflection and a review week for me, I’m working on getting a deeper understanding of the material I am reading, and hearing, wonder why I’m not where I think I should be at this point. I am reading, sitting, seeing the person I want to be, by helping others along the way without reciprocity, giving back what I received. Is it because I don’t have all the mechanism and knowledge, or doesn’t favor everyone who is involved, I believe it does. Is there a break in the channel of forgiveness, is it the mental Diet?
I’m looking over the different types of learning seeing if I can use a different style but I’m using them all, or is that my pride and ego thinking I am doing the work?
Check it twice leaving nothing to chance. More practice, prevents, poor, performance then it should be Perfect for the outcome.
Affirming: I am Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious, Happy and Health.
When is this shit going to take root and My reality I am imagining going to be seen?
Looking at the girl in the glass, Morning and at night saying I love you, and knowing each day I am growing closer to myself and being my own best friend.
“I walk with faith this is where I am suppose to be it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goals. Never knowing how close it lies unless I turn the corner. It is to take one step at a time and to persist until I succeed.” “Og”
Don’t start anything unless you are going to finish it or die trying. This action leads to more disappointment unless you complete what you started.
The Known:= is the life we have done up until now.
Which for me has been struggling all my life, this isn’t the feel sorry for me story, it is just the life, I lived and the understanding I had at the time. What I thought I knew and what was really happening. I was told I had a learning disability, I was held back in the second grade, my father left when I was just eleven months old so I was told.
I have 3 siblings and a half sister on my father’s side. My father had another family he supported and was always there for, but his first family that was my mother and 3 siblings were left to find our way in life growing up without a father in our lives, it sucked what was wrong with us?
So mind Shattering to a little heart broken girl or a son wondering, and wearing the weight of it all, I can imagine how an adopted person might feel, but through my journey of discovery and the hate I had in my heart for the male figures and the perception that all males let there families down. drove my self destruction and I know it leads others as well. People who are hurting want others to hurt as well, misery loves company.
How poisonous this was in my life, it lead to drinking, drugs, abuse, low self respect and looking at the world as thou it owed me, anyone in my way knew my furry.
This left me feeling abandoned unwanted and unloved, searching all my life to fill the void and missing what I could only imagine what it would be like to have a full-time father in my life. I was drawn to men that left me feeling the same as my father did empty and alone not fully in the relationship and when things got hard, they left. Which I put up a wall and didn’t let anyone get close and shut myself off to the world. I got on a destructive path to numb the pain and punish myself for not being a great daughter, sister, or friend.
I blamed everyone for pushing me away and I lashed out even more cutting ties, burning bridges and doing this life alone because I was the only one, I could count on everyone else lets me down.
I met this guy who filled the void in my life, who I thought was the one, my Knight and shining armor saving me from a life of misery and pain someone to share and enjoy the adventures of life.
How wrong I was I went through 10 years of Domestic Violence. Bought up real estate in the dark night had dark thoughts kill or be killed, get out don’t look back, do I really want to spend life in prison? Is this love? Does it have to hurt so much? Things are not that bad, there are good time? Right!!! Until death do, we part rang in my head. That piece of paper had him thinking I was his property…. OH H…. NO I’m Not. After the passing of his mother, I finally left and wondered why I needed to experience that Life.
The answer to help other victims of domestic violence leave earlier than I did, so they stop punishing themself and forgive the person inside who thought they were less and deserved less than the very best life.
We deserve good things and we all have unique skills to give and offer the world, in 2015 I found out about life coaching, I laugh at first then knew in my soul that this is what I have been searching for all my life Helping Others and making a difference, I found a certified life coach company to be trained by, then my upline introduced me to the MKMMA which I became a life time member.
The Unknown: This is new It takes work, I resisted, I played small I was working through the trauma of the violence the negative self-talk and not knowing how things would turn out, the let down from the people in my environment for many years had me mistrusting my new found friend, these new friends of mine are talking crazy, manifest the life you love, the way you are thinking is the results you have in your life, negativity, resentment towards others never gets positive results.
Change the meaning to the experiences you have had, take ownership of the part you did in what you have gone through. What the bleep? bleep is all this crazy stuff all about? It was new not what I experience ever before. How does this stuff work?
The more I worked on being the best version of me, gaining the tools, habits, principles, values, forming a clear focused vision and taking the actions daily, things started happening. I wrote a book called; “Sorry,” Only Means It Will Happen Again, Formed Life Vision Investments, got certified in being a life coach, got a class A commercial drives license, Moved to Las Vegas.
I had this thought that all women were back stabber until I met a dozen who showed me, I was wrong about all women, then transferred into other people as well, I keep people around me that always uplift people. Knowing that there are limitless opportunities awaiting each and every day.
Create Good Habits, Great Each Day with Love, and Persist Until You Succeed. In the unknown is where all the magic happens, you must be willing to be uncomfortable in the unknown to experience what the world really has to offer. Live the highest version of yourself everyday.
Keep Shining Bright
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